Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner

Author:Shiri Eisner [Eisner, Shiri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781580054751
Publisher: Seal Press
Published: 2013-07-01T22:00:00+00:00

In addition, what we have here is slut shaming. According to the blog Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog, slut shaming is

the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings. Furthermore, it’s “about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior” (Alon Levy, “Slut Shaming”). It is damaging not only to the girls and women targeted, but to women in general and society as a whole.

What it means in this case in that bi-curious women are shamed and attacked for being publicly sexual and for behaving in a way that society deems sexually deviant. In addition, this might also be thought about as a form of “bi shaming,” meaning that these women are shamed and attacked specifically for publicly displaying bisexuality. Moreover, not only are these women shamed for being sexual and behaving bisexually, but they are also considered guilty of the sexual violence directed toward “real” or “good” bisexual women.

But, as Irish blogger Aoife O’Riordan writes in her blog post “In Defense of Barsexuals and Faux-Mos,” biphobia and objectification of women “are things that have been around a long time. They were there long before Katy Perry, before Madonna kissed Britney, before t.A.T.u. . . . They’ve been around since before the ice melted in the world’s first mojito, and nothing the drinker of that mojito did afterward is to blame for their existence.”

As we’ve seen in this chapter, the sources for the fetishization of bisexual women as objects for the cis straight male gaze stem from mainstream media and pornographic depictions of bisexual women and female bisexuality. Likewise, biphobic sexual violence is informed by these depictions and enacted mostly by straight men. Bi-curious women, or “barsexuals,” have not invented these stereotypes, and they are not the ones to enact the violence.

In addition, as pointed out by American blogger Kaley Perceful in her post “In Defense of ‘Party Bisexuals,’” many of these women actually do identify as bisexual. This means that calling them anything else—including “bi-curious,” “barsexual,” or “party bisexual”—erases the existence and legitimacy of their bisexual identity. If someone identifies as bisexual, then her identity should be accepted and respected without the need to pass a “true bisexuality” test or to get an official “seal of approval.”

Moreover, for many bi-identified women, this type of situation was the starting point and one of the only possible gateways for exploration of their bisexuality. Perceful writes:

[L]iking members of the same sex [sic] is really difficult for a lot of people to admit to themselves as well as others. It can also be really difficult to act on. [. . .] With all of the shame and insecurity that can come with being attracted to members of the same sex [sic], is it really so surprising that it takes a few drinks before some girls are able to act on their attraction to women?

And again:

Coming to terms with your bisexuality can be really fucking difficult.

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